As I approached the day we would meet our rainbow baby, I felt increasingly anxious and ((hello)) scared. My heart was broken from losing our son last year and I didn’t know if reading birth stories was going to help or hurt – did I really want to know about other peoples birthing pains? Close calls and interventions? Surely it would just freak me out even more…. Eh, I normally loved birth stories so I went ahead and read a few. Actually, the more I read, the more relaxed I became. I can’t tell you how many I consumed in the weeks leading up to her birth! These stories not only reminded me of how incredible God is in his beautiful design to bring new life into the world but also in his design and creation of the woman. Continue reading
At 37 weeks along with our sweet rainbow baby and just a couple of months away from moving our little family across the country, my anxiety levels are reaching all time highs. Though I am a relatively quiet worrier, I internalize a lot of what’s going on around me and I have mini freak outs in my head. Continue reading
I’m the absolute worst at blogging regularly and even worse at “timed” personal posts or updates. Whoops.
I have yet to do any sort of baby bump-date for this little bambino and since I do enjoy looking back at the updates I had with my first two pregnancies, I wanted to make it a point to jot some things down to remember with this little girl ❤ Continue reading
Earlier this month was our sweet baby boy’s first birthday in heaven. I really can’t believe it’s already been a year… the shortest, yet longest year of my life, for many reasons.
Though we never got to bring him home, have him wear all the “little brother” shirts we had gotten for him, or snuggle on the couch as a family, we will forever hold him in our hearts and we can smile knowing he is beyond happy in heaven.
I’ll be totally honest, the weeks surrounding his birthday left me emotionally drained. Continue reading
As I’m sitting here in complete awe, wonder, and insanely deep gratitude for the new life growing inside of me, I often reflect on the events that brought me here with my growing rainbow baby. After losing our son Michael last year, I experienced a whirlwind of emotions – many of which were so ugly and scary my heart literally aches when I think about it or imagine another mother in the same situation. Nevertheless, even with all the ugly, so much beauty and growth came from that time in my life. Continue reading
We celebrated G turning two this past weekend and had so much fun! I am still in complete disbelief that I have a two year old. Her day was filled with lots of balloons, kisses, and cake 🙂 We loved being able to make her day extra special and spend time with so many of our amazing family and friends. Continue reading
Happy due date my sweet little angel. I tried not to anticipate this day but as the day got closer I just couldn’t help it. Continue reading
We have all been there. In a store, a restaurant, just leisurely going about your business, when out of the blue, you hear (what you are convinced are) sounds of a poor animal suffering a painful death. You prepare yourself for the crime scene that is sure to be around the corner… but no. Around that corner appears Continue reading
As a young mom of a toddler and an angel baby in heaven, I am fully in the trenches of my journey though motherhood. Though my heart is still raw from the loss of my son just 4 weeks ago, it’s this raw state that has given me the ability to feel so deeply and come to this understanding about motherhood – that motherhood is the best, worst, best thing that has ever happened to me. Continue reading
As I looked through my drafts of post ideas, I saw my “Baby Bumpdate” post sitting in the queue… as I stared at the title I realized something… when I was pregnant and my baby was alive and healthy, I had no problem happily posting “bump pics” and sweet little taglines on how much we loved him, how excited we were to meet him, how we couldn’t wait for him to join our crazy family. He was real. He was my son. We dreamed of his future, how he was going to be my little buddy, how he was going to love cars and hockey just like his dad, and how he was going to be just what our spunky little Gianna needed. I was going to have 2 babies under 2 for a few weeks… oh, I was so ready for the challenge! However, sometimes life plays out a lot different than you imagined. Continue reading