As I approached the day we would meet our rainbow baby, I felt increasingly anxious and ((hello)) scared. My heart was broken from losing our son last year and I didn’t know if reading birth stories was going to help or hurt – did I really want to know about other peoples birthing pains? Close calls and interventions? Surely it would just freak me out even more…. Eh, I normally loved birth stories so I went ahead and read a few. Actually, the more I read, the more relaxed I became. I can’t tell you how many I consumed in the weeks leading up to her birth! These stories not only reminded me of how incredible God is in his beautiful design to bring new life into the world but also in his design and creation of the woman. Continue reading
At 37 weeks along with our sweet rainbow baby and just a couple of months away from moving our little family across the country, my anxiety levels are reaching all time highs. Though I am a relatively quiet worrier, I internalize a lot of what’s going on around me and I have mini freak outs in my head. Continue reading
Somehow, I always manage to be shocked every time a holiday or annual event “shows up” on my calendar – like really, who put that there?!
Well, Father’s Day is right around the corner and I’m happy to say I am actually aware of it more than 48hrs in advance. Step 1, right?! Now for the gift giving…
I’m lucky in the fact that my hubby is super low key and never truly asks for anything – but this is partly why I LOVE giving him gifts. He is always genuinely surprised and incredibly appreciative [shameless “I love my hubby” plug] so I love upping the ‘wow’ factor and finding things that are special, unique and memorable. Continue reading
I’m the absolute worst at blogging regularly and even worse at “timed” personal posts or updates. Whoops.
I have yet to do any sort of baby bump-date for this little bambino and since I do enjoy looking back at the updates I had with my first two pregnancies, I wanted to make it a point to jot some things down to remember with this little girl ❤ Continue reading
Earlier this month was our sweet baby boy’s first birthday in heaven. I really can’t believe it’s already been a year… the shortest, yet longest year of my life, for many reasons.
Though we never got to bring him home, have him wear all the “little brother” shirts we had gotten for him, or snuggle on the couch as a family, we will forever hold him in our hearts and we can smile knowing he is beyond happy in heaven.
I’ll be totally honest, the weeks surrounding his birthday left me emotionally drained. Continue reading
Happy anniversary to my handsome hubby! It seems as though each of the past 1460 days has brought some kind of new “adventure” to the table and most certainly not all “highlight reel” worthy. We’ve been through a lot as a team, yet we still (obviously) have SO much to learn… Continue reading
With so much to be grateful for, how is it that sometimes I/me/we struggle to find things to be grateful for? You know, the type of heartfelt thanks that goes beyond the “thank you for the food I’m eating, the roof over my head, the clothes on my back” type thing.
We get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life – school, work, marriage, kids, a messy house, a traveling spouse, a big move, what have you – the challenges of the day seem to always get the better of us. Then, often times life happens. A huge change, something tragic, horrifying, “how could God let this happen” type thing and finding joy and gratitude seems literally impossible – even WRONG sometimes. Continue reading
I’m a total sucker for New Years Resolutions. I’m a natural-born list maker so this makes total sense. But really, I love the excuse for a fresh start, even if it’s just another day or another page on a calendar.
As I get older, and busier, I have adopted a different “resolution” method. Instead of specifics like traveling more, working out every day of the week or promising myself I am not going to eat so much chocolate and wine (who am I kidding) – I have started to pick words or phrases at the recommendation of several smart people 😉 Continue reading
As I’m sitting here in complete awe, wonder, and insanely deep gratitude for the new life growing inside of me, I often reflect on the events that brought me here with my growing rainbow baby. After losing our son Michael last year, I experienced a whirlwind of emotions – many of which were so ugly and scary my heart literally aches when I think about it or imagine another mother in the same situation. Nevertheless, even with all the ugly, so much beauty and growth came from that time in my life. Continue reading
Now that the rush of Christmas is over, I can finally take a breather and digest the last few crazy weeks and everything I packed into them – well sort of. I seem to have jam packed each day in between Christmas and New Years as well #norestfortheweary. Anyways, the weekend before Christmas my hubby finally graduated from his federal law enforcement training. It’s been a long, long 7 months but now looking back, I can’t believe it’s already over! I seriously could not be any more proud of my hubby, and really, us as a team. Continue reading